Good evening all. I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend. I had a phenomenal weekend; I was able to make the trip back to OH for a few days. It was refreshing being able to hang out with the family and see some friends of mine.
I wanted to give an update from my last post. As I mentioned in my last post, I met with my new cardiologist and the tests for finding out why I had the heart attack has started. I met with my hematologist a few weeks ago and did a series of blood tests; I haven’t received the results yet, I have an appointment with him in the next few weeks to discuss the results.
I had an echocardiogram done past Wednesday and that test was a little overwhelming. I had this test done the day I had my heart attack, so I knew kind of what to expect; however, it was more than what I thought it was going to be. To those of you who do not know what an echocardiogram is it’s simply a test that uses sound waves to create a moving picture of the heart; it allows the doctor to see the heart beating, heart valves, and other structures of the heart. It’s a painless test but can provide some very detailed important information.
I spent 90 minutes with the two technicians who performed the test. I became a little concerned after awhile because they spent at least 60 minutes performing the test on the left side of my heart. Panic finally set in and I remember asking what was going on. The technician, who I actually found out was the lead technician and wrote my report, said that they were just being thorough because of my past history and also said that the LAD (left anterior descending artery) showed signs of damage and they were certain that is where I had my heart attack. One of the technicians said this was common and where most of the heart attacks occur. I was instantly in a state of confusion. I was told by my doctors in Indianapolis that my heart attack occurred in a small artery; I was never told it was in the LAD. Finally the test was over and I was told my doctor would call me with the results in a few days.
Next was the waiting game. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were pretty rough for me. I was incredibly anxious and to make it worse, I was playing phone tag with my doctor on Friday. Finally, at around 5:30 on Friday, I received the call from the doctor. I wasn’t expecting what she was about to tell me. As I sit here trying to write this blog, I can’t fight back the tears. I’ve been strong through this entire process, yes I’ve had my meltdowns, but I think this is one of the toughest times I’ve had since the day of my heart attack.
The doctor informed me that my heart function levels on the left side (tip) of the heart had decreased. She said she compared the results from my last test (day of heart attack) and the one that was just performed and it had dropped. So what does this mean? To be honest, I’m not really sure. The doctor has ordered a stress test, heart MRI, and more blood work. She isn’t sure why my levels are dropping but said that it isn’t normal and with only being 26 years old, she’s determined to find out why. She said this could be related to some inflammation surrounding the heart, but couldn’t say that that for sure. I’ve been put on more medication as well. She could sense the panic in my voice and told me to not freak out just yet. She said she would do everything and anything to help the situation. She said she would order the tests and would be performed in two-to-three weeks.
After I got off the phone with her, I was in complete shock. When she called, I had just got to Kroger and when I got off the phone, I went into the store and just walked around. I had actually forgotten what I had gone to the store for. As I was walking around the store, one question kept coming to mind: why? Ever since I was told the results, I still keep asking that question. But will I ever know the answer to why? I don’t think I will.
Over the past 24 hours, I’ve found myself, several times, pacing back and forth around my apartment. I’m a mixed bag of emotions: fear, anxious, anger, and sadness. However, my friend, Liz, (who had the heart transplant and is doing well BTW!) comes to mind when this happens. I think of what she has gone through and what she continues to go through and a feeling of strength comes to me. Liz has put a whole lot of trust and faith into God and doesn’t ask the question of why it has happened to her. This reminds me of what I need to do; I need to put trust into the man upstairs. Even though Liz is younger than me, she has become my role model.
To be honest, I’m so incredibly scared of what the next couple of weeks will bring, but I know everything will be alright. Two of my biggest strengths that I have are the following: determination to face every fear and also fight through it. You can bet that I’ll be using these traits the next couple of weeks. This journey has been a rollercoaster, and even though I’m on the downside and may have a hill to climb, I’ll get to the top.
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| This picture was just taken today of my niece, Chloe (In the front). When I look at this picture, I think of her telling me to not give up and and keep on fighting. It brings a smile to my face. Being an aunt is everything! |
