Wow! It’s been awhile since I’ve blogged and there’s a lot of information that I want to share. So where shall I begin? I think I’ll share my second heart episode that I had this past April. Once again, I was at work and was experiencing some severe chest pain. I didn’t know what to think. To be honest, ever since my heart attack last November, I’ve had an increased issue with anxiety, due to the fear of having another heart attack. I was having some difficulty trying to determine if I was just having an anxiety attack or was it another heart attack. The chest pains started around 8:00 am and continued for the next hour. I was heading to a staff meeting and was hoping that the pain would ease up. It did not. I went back to my desk and grabbed my nitro and went back to the meeting. I took 3-4 nitro pills and the pain was actually getting worse. One of my coworkers, who was sitting beside me, knew that something wasn’t right and I told her to call 911. She got up and left the meeting and I walked out as well. The medics arrived and gave me some more nitro, oxygen, and did an EKG, all while I was sitting in the EOC (Emergency Operations Center). They told me that my EKG looked okay but I would be going to the hospital. By this time, my anxiety was uncontrollable, because I couldn’t believe I was going through this a second time. The medics tried to calm me down, but I was pretty freaked out. They took me out to the ambulance, where we sat there for what seemed like forever. They were trying to get an IV started, but I have tiny veins, and after several attempts, they decided it would be better to get me to the hospital then to keep trying. The entire way there, I was giving them all my medical history, etc. It turns out that 2 of the 4 paramedics that came, were actually with me during the last heart episode. I explained to them that I did actually have a heart attack and they were in disbelief.
After I arrived at the hospital, I was surrounded by numerous doctors and nurses. It was all too familiar for me, and I was really starting to freak out even more. I had a heart monitor on and an IV started with just a few seconds after arriving. They had told me that my cardiologist was going to be notified that I was in the ER and he would be down shortly. I was in a lot of pain, so I was finally able to get some pain medication. The head doctor came in and said that my EKG looked good so they were unsure of what was going on. A few minutes later, a nurse came in and said that I was going to have another catheterization done. I questioned her on why they were going to do that, since my EKG looked okay, she said that since I had a heart attack, they always follow this procedure. I had asked her if I was going to be admitted and she said that I would be for sure. At that point, I knew that I had needed to call my parents and let them know what was going on. Just like last time, my mom wasn’t in St. Marys and it would be a while before they would arrive. I assured them that I was going to be okay, I was just scared. They said they would be on the road ASAP.
My cardiologist met me in the cath lab and started the procedure. The last time I had this done, I fell asleep. This was certainly not the case this time, I was wide awake. When they started the cath (which was done through my wrist) I could feel it and screamed in pain. The doctor ordered some more morphine and some relaxing medications. The meds helped and I was able to calm down and they were able to continue with the procedure. The doctor said that everything had looked good and was actually healing nicely.
I don’t remember much after the cath was done, due to all the medication. I know that my parents arrived and we were waiting for a room to open up. I spent the next few days in the hospital, on the heart floor, being monitored and trying to figure out what was going on. The entire hospital stay is pretty much a blur to me because I was on so much pain medication. I was also on anxiety medications. I was having a really hard time understanding what was going on because I was having pain but it wasn’t my heart. The doctor ordered several more tests. I was finally dismissed from the hospital Thursday night. I ended up being diagnosed with inflammation in my chest wall cavity, inflammation on my stomach lining, and a hiatal hernia in my esophagus. All of those combined together created the severe chest pains. I was given more medication and that eventually solved the problem. Several weeks later, I was also diagnosed with coronary artery disease.
It’s now June 8, and it’s been 7 months since my heart attack. I still struggle on what I’ve been through and I think I always will. However, one thing that I have learned through all of this is that you cannot take life for granted. I’ve also learned that I cannot live each day with the fear of having another heart attack, because that’s only going to cause more anxiety and panic. I need to relax and enjoy life and what it has to offer me. I’ve also found a lot of strength in myself that I never knew I had. I survived a heart attack, I can survive whatever else life will throw at me.
Lesson to be learned: Accept your past without regret, handle your present with confidence, and face your future without fear.
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