I am STRONG!

Wow! I cannot believe it’s already August 1. Where has this summer gone? I’m so beyond that the month of July is over! It was one very long and stressful month to say the least; school and work consumed my life; the reason why I haven’t blogged much lately. I finished up my second class of graduate school and so grateful to be done with the risk analysis course! It was a great course but pretty intense. I’m excited for the month of August and welcomed it with arms wide-open. I’ve have vacation, bridal shower, bachelorette party, and a wedding this month. Very busy but all fun! J

As I was getting ready for work today, I caught myself looking in the mirror and asking myself, “Who is this girl”?  Yes, I know this is a weird question to ask myself, but it sure did make me smile. At that moment, I had a flashback on everything that has happened to me. I thought to myself, damn, I’ve been through a whole lot of crap for being only 25 years old. But, I’ve been able to push myself to get through everything and I sure have become a much stronger person. Honestly, I think this moment was the first time that I realized I am a strong person. I’ve had many people tell me that I was, but this was the first time I actually believed it; it felt amazing.

I know that I’ve said this before and I’m actually still amazed that I can say it again; the hardest moments of my life are now becoming my strongest and rewarding moments. I say this because the heart attack has certainly changed me for the better. I have a totally new outlook on life and I’m becoming a much happier and healthier person.

 Prior to the heart attack, I ate whatever I wanted, I didn’t exercise a whole lot, and I didn’t care to just sit around on my days off. That has totally changed. I joined the YMCA about 2 months ago, and I’ve been trying to go 2-3 times a week. It has been harder with the month of July, but I found time to go. I’ve fell in love with Zumba! I mean who doesn’t like to shake their booty and get a good workout at the same time? I may look like a fool when I’m doing it, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Plus, I’m learning some new dance moves and meeting some great people. My diet has changed significantly, I still to this day, have not added salt to my food. This is HUGE for me because I used to put salt on EVERYTHING. I’ve also noticed myself not really caring for fried food much. Wow. I cannot believe I just said that, but it’s true. I used to be a huge fan of chicken fingers and french fries, and now, I can’t recall the last time I had chicken fingers. I have had fries lately, but I haven’t been eating very many of them, they just don’t taste as good as they used to, I suppose it’s because that I don’t need all of that salt! I also eat a whole lot more veggies and fruit. Changing my diet and exercising has been very rewarding, not only for making my heart healthy, but also my weight loss! My weight continues to decrease and I’m fitting into clothes that I haven’t been able to wear for years. It feels fantastic! I’ve dropped 4 dress sizes in just one year – just with my change in diet and exercise.

One of the biggest improvements that I’ve seen in myself and my family has actually told me as well, I’m a much happier person. I think this is because I’ve got a new attitude on life. I don’t want to waste a single day of my life, I want to enjoy every moment of it. Yes, I do have bad days, but everyone does. Also, I remind myself that tomorrow is a new day and a new start. Before my heart attack, I wouldn’t mind spending my days off of work sitting on the couch watching movies all day, but that has changed as well. Now, on my days off I always want to do something, even if it’s just walking around at the mall or laying out by the pool. I don’t like the idea of wasting away a day on the couch. Now, I’m not going to say there won’t be days where I just crash all day on my couch watching lifetime movie network, because I know that I’ll have some of those in my future, it just won’t be every weekend.

As I type this, I have tears running down my face. I am so proud of myself for standing strong after the hell I’ve been through. People say God only gives you want you can handle, well, I’m starting to believe that now.