Constant Debate

I’ve had some slight chest pains off and on for the past couple of hours, so I figured this would be the perfect time to blog about my next topic that I’ve been wanting to discuss for a while now; Is this anxiety or is this another heart episode?

I know that I’ve said this before and it’s not easy to admit, but years ago I was diagnosed with anxiety disorder, specifically, panic disorder. I have been on medications and I’m doing really well. I used to have daily anxiety attacks and they were horrible. Now, I can’t remember the last time I actually had one. Basically, panic disorder is just having intense feelings of constant fear and worry. This all can lead to a panic attack, which include symptoms of sweating, chest pain, palpitations, dizziness, and hyperventilation. The combination of all of this can cause someone to pass out or even think one is having a heart attack.

Prior to being diagnosed, I would have episodes and the ambulance would be called. I think this happened three or four times. Finally after seeing a doctor, I was diagnosed and was put on medication. I was ashamed and embarrassed of this disorder at first. However, over the years, I’ve learned that I’ve been through a lot to cause this disorder and that it’s okay. I’m human and everyone has problems. Actually, I’m glad that I realized something was going on and I reached out for help. It was just another step in making me a much stronger person.

The day of my heart attack, I had all of the symptoms of a panic attack. Needless to say, that is why I was so hesitate to go to the hospital. I thought for sure it was just another panic attack. However, normally with panic attacks, if you just make yourself calm down and take some deep breaths, it will get better. This wasn’t the case for me on that day. I had other symptoms; my arm and neck were going numb. I knew something more serious was going on.

After I had my heart attack, I had and still have constant fear that I will have another heart attack. I mean I had one at the age of 25 and I was overall relatively healthy. I’ve already had one, I can surely have another. All of this fear lead up to more anxiety, which only caused more panic attacks. I remember days after I was released from the hospital, I had several panic attacks a day and I struggled with it. I would literally make myself believe that I was having another heart attack, because I had such intense chest pains.

Now, the problem was how do I tell if it’s a panic attack or am I having a heart issue? Well, that’s where the magic pill, also known as nitro, comes into play. If I’m ever having chest pains, I will stop whatever I’m doing and take some deep breaths, if the pain continues, I will take a nitro. The rule is that if you take more than 3 nitro (take them 5 minutes apart), you need to get to the ER right away. If the nitro does its job and I feel better, then it’s most likely anxiety related, if it’s not working, then its heart related. I’m a strong believer of this because when I had my heart attack, they EMTs were giving me nitro and nothing was working at all, I was getting no relief. Due to the blockage in my coronary artery, I wasn’t getting relief. The only thing that cleared the blockage was a procedure that was done during my heart catheterization. The doctor simply pushed some medicine through the artery and it cleared up right away.

I’m not going to lie; I’m scared to death whenever I feel the slightest chest pains. All of my heart attack memories come rushing to my mind. Honestly, one of the first things I start do is panic. But as I just discussed, panic attacks can have the exact same symptoms of a heart attack. So it isn’t going to do me any good to freak out. I have to force myself to calm down and refer to my ‘game plan’, which was helped put together by my doctor. If I’m not feeling better after a few minutes, I take a nitro. If it goes away, praise the lord, if it doesn’t, take another. Again, I’m allowed to take three until it’s time to get to the ER.

Even though I have a “game plan” I still question myself, and that is what I’m currently working on now. I’ve got mixed emotions of having chest pains and going to the ER. I do not want to be the patient that goes to the ER with every slightest pain; I guess you could say I don’t want to be the person who cries wolf all the time. On the other side of that, I’m afraid that the one time I don’t go to the ER, is going to be the time that I do have another heart attack. The only way I know how to solve this problem and ease my mind a bit is to talk to my cardiologist about my current game plan. I’m about 80 % sure that it’s what I’m supposed to be doing, but getting his advice would certainly make things better. I also believe that with time, it’ll get easier to distinguish the difference between it as well.

I want to wish everyone a very Happy Thanksgiving! I’m so very blessed to such a supportive family and amazing friends. Without you all, I wouldn’t be who I am today. Thank you all for giving me the strength to continue to push myself to tell my story, even the parts that I’m afraid to admit. The words of encouragement allow me to continue my drive to hopefully help others. Even if I can help 1 person, my goal will be achieved. I ask that you all please do me a favor today, give your loved ones a hug and tell them how important they are to you, because you never know what will happen tomorrow. Love you all.

BTW, the chest pains that I've had at the beginning of this post, I no longer have. I think I just had anxiety for black Friday shopping, I've got to keep up with my sisters and mom, I'm in for a challenge! :)