Full of Determination & Ready to Fight!

Good evening all. I hope everyone had a great Memorial Day weekend. I had a phenomenal weekend; I was able to make the trip back to OH for a few days. It was refreshing being able to hang out with the family and see some friends of mine.

I wanted to give an update from my last post. As I mentioned in my last post, I met with my new cardiologist and the tests for finding out why I had the heart attack has started.  I met with my hematologist a few weeks ago and did a series of blood tests; I haven’t received the results yet, I have an appointment with him in the next few weeks to discuss the results.

I had an echocardiogram done past Wednesday and that test was a little overwhelming. I had this test done the day I had my heart attack, so I knew kind of what to expect; however, it was more than what I thought it was going to be.  To those of you who do not know what an echocardiogram is it’s simply a test that uses sound waves to create a moving picture of the heart; it allows the doctor to see the heart beating, heart valves, and other structures of the heart. It’s a painless test but can provide some very detailed important information.

I spent 90 minutes with the two technicians who performed the test. I became a little concerned after awhile because they spent at least 60 minutes performing the test on the left side of my heart. Panic finally set in and I remember asking what was going on. The technician, who I actually found out was the lead technician and wrote my report, said that they were just being thorough because of my past history and also said that the LAD (left anterior descending artery) showed signs of damage and they were certain that is where I had my heart attack. One of the technicians said this was common and where most of the heart attacks occur. I was instantly in a state of confusion. I was told by my doctors in Indianapolis that my heart attack occurred in a small artery; I was never told it was in the LAD.  Finally the test was over and I was told my doctor would call me with the results in a few days.

Next was the waiting game. Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday were pretty rough for me.  I was incredibly anxious and to make it worse, I was playing phone tag with my doctor on Friday. Finally, at around 5:30 on Friday, I received the call from the doctor. I wasn’t expecting what she was about to tell me. As I sit here trying to write this blog, I can’t fight back the tears. I’ve been strong through this entire process, yes I’ve had my meltdowns, but I think this is one of the toughest times I’ve had since the day of my heart attack.

The doctor informed me that my heart function levels on the left side (tip) of the heart had decreased. She said she compared the results from my last test (day of heart attack) and the one that was just performed and it had dropped. So what does this mean? To be honest, I’m not really sure. The doctor has ordered a stress test, heart MRI, and more blood work. She isn’t sure why my levels are dropping but said that it isn’t normal and with only being 26 years old, she’s determined to find out why. She said this could be related to some inflammation surrounding the heart, but couldn’t say that that for sure. I’ve been put on more medication as well. She could sense the panic in my voice and told me to not freak out just yet. She said she would do everything and anything to help the situation. She said she would order the tests and would be performed in two-to-three weeks.

After I got off the phone with her, I was in complete shock. When she called, I had just got to Kroger and when I got off the phone, I went into the store and just walked around. I had actually forgotten what I had gone to the store for. As I was walking around the store, one question kept coming to mind: why? Ever since I was told the results, I still keep asking that question.  But will I ever know the answer to why? I don’t think I will.

Over the past 24 hours, I’ve found myself, several times, pacing back and forth around my apartment.  I’m a mixed bag of emotions: fear, anxious, anger, and sadness. However, my friend, Liz, (who had the heart transplant and is doing well BTW!) comes to mind when this happens. I think of what she has gone through and what she continues to go through and a feeling of strength comes to me. Liz has put a whole lot of trust and faith into God and doesn’t ask the question of why it has happened to her. This reminds me of what I need to do; I need to put trust into the man upstairs. Even though Liz is younger than me, she has become my role model.

To be honest, I’m so incredibly scared of what the next couple of weeks will bring, but I know everything will be alright.  Two of my biggest strengths that I have are the following: determination to face every fear and also fight through it. You can bet that I’ll be using these traits the next couple of weeks. This journey has been a rollercoaster, and even though I’m on the downside and may have a hill to climb, I’ll get to the top.



This picture was just taken today of my niece, Chloe (In the front).  When I look at this picture, I think of her telling me to not give up and and keep on fighting. It brings a smile to my face. Being an aunt is everything!



Thorough but frustrating

Good Wednesday evening to y’all. I just settled in from a long day of work and an intense Zumba workout. I haven’t been to a Zumba class since I moved to Virginia and it sure did feel good to get back into it. I may not be all that coordinated and look a bit on the silly side but it’s a workout that I enjoy. Taking out the frustrations of my day with some dancing and jumping is one of my favorite ways to release that bundled up energy. I highly recommend the class to anyone and everyone.

In my last post I had mentioned that I had a cardiologist appointment on Tuesday of this week, well I’d like to discuss that appointment and the cascading events in this post. Again, my overall goal of my blog is to bring awareness regarding heart issues and reasons why it’s so incredibly important to keep your heart healthy. I’ve got a bit off track with keeping my heart healthy and I’m ashamed of myself. I hope through this post about this week’s events will stress to everyone how important it is to stay healthy. I know I cannot stop a heart attack from happening, but I do know that I can do everything in my power to make my body as healthy as I can; everyone can.

I met with my cardiologist on Tuesday morning and I was extremely nervous. I was not only meeting a new doctor but it was also my 18 month checkup. Wow. I cannot believe it’s been 18 months since that day, the day that my life changed. Prior to the appointment, I was fighting with my anxiety.  I always get extremely anxious before my appointments. As I was sitting in the waiting room, I felt a sense of calmness overcome me. I can’t explain why or how this happened, it just did. It was the weirdest but most amazing feeling ever. I’m just going to say it was the man upstairs.

So, I finally was called back by the nurse and went into the exam room. The nurse was extremely friendly and that also calmed the nerves. We briefly discussed my history and an EKG was performed. The cardiologist finally came in and I also discussed the history with her. She was in utter shock with the fact that a 24 year old had a heart attack. She questioned why I had the heart attack but I told her the doctors in Indianapolis chalked it up to “bad luck”.  She didn’t like this answer.

After a quick exam (listening to lungs & heart), she said that everything sounded good. She also said my EKG looked good as well. My pulse was a little on the high side, but she agreed with me that it was most likely from the nerves. If she wasn’t concerned about it, there was no need for me to be.  The game plan for what she wanted to do was discussed next. Her biggest question was why I had the heart attack and since no one could figure it out, she said she was determined to. I cannot tell you how good that was to hear. I must say that I’m beyond frustrated with my previous doctor in Indy for just saying it was “bad luck”. I want an answer and I’m now hopeful that she may figure it out.

With wanting to know the answer comes more tests. Not only is she trying to find out the answers but also wants a thorough check.  I understand why she wants this but this is where my frustration comes into play. Maybe I’m just being my stubborn self, which is most likely true, but having to have more tests done just reminds me that I did have a heart attack. I think there is some fear with this as well.  I’m afraid something will be found. I must remind myself that everything will be just fine and that I’d much rather know if something is wrong now then to find out when it’s too late.

She referred me to a hematologist and I have that appointment tomorrow morning. She would like to rule out blood clotting disorders. I will have an echocardiogram done in two weeks, which is a pretty normal test to have done. Before I left the office, I had to have a series of blood tests done; the basic blood work (red/white blood cell counts, liver & kidney functions, diabetes, and cholesterol). She called me this morning and told me my results: everything was normal except the liver and cholesterol. She stated that my liver test results were a little on the high side. She didn’t understand why it was high but said she would wait a little bit and retest it again in a month and a half.  

I had a feeling my bad cholesterol would be high and I was right. I’m ashamed of myself because of it. I’ve had high cholesterol before and was on medication for it. However, due to horrible side effects (muscle aches) I was taken off of it. My cardiologist felt that it was important to get back on medication to get it under control. I’m going to be trying a different medication and hoping that I don’t have the severe side effects from it. I’m ashamed of myself because I know that I can be eating better and helping myself with the cholesterol problem. I mentioned before in this post that I’ve got a bit off track with keeping my heart healthy and this is why. I know that I need to improve my eating habits and this was an eye-opener. I’m trying my hardest to be able to get off the medications and to have to be prescribed another one, which I could potentially have prevented, is shameful and frustrating. I’m going to get myself back to eating healthy and hopefully be able to get off, and remain off, the medication.

I know that eating healthy is hard. But I do not want to have more problems because of eating poorly. I’ll be damned to let plaque buildup and cause another heart attack. I know I do not have control over everything but I do have control on my health. I hope through my frustrations and anger with myself, someone will realize how important it is eat healthy and exercise. Do NOT let yourself have a heart attack because of poor eating habits; your heart doesn’t deserve that and you don’t deserve to go through it.

My cardiologist explained that after she gets all the results from all of the tests, she will decide how to proceed forward. I feel completely comfortable with my new doctor and hopeful she will find the answers to the unknown questions. For the first time, I can honestly say that I have sincere trust with my doctor and know that I’m back on the right track with the journey of making my heart healthy again.

Inspiration

It sure has been awhile since I’ve blogged and there have been a lot of incredible changes over the past couple of months, so let me fill you in on what’s been going on in my life, not only with my heart, but also with my career.

I left IDHS back in February and took a job with the Virginia Department of Emergency Management, as an Exercise Project Coordinator. I was sad to leave my friends and family in Indiana and Ohio, but I couldn’t let this opportunity slip by. I’ve been here now for almost 3 months and I couldn’t be happier. I was afraid embarking on this journey by myself, being 9 hours away from family and not knowing a single person in VA was scary; however, it was the best decision I could have made. My job is absolutely wonderful and I’m blessed everyday with having such an incredible opportunity. Also,  I’m living my dream by being in hurricane country and I’m so anxious for hurricane season to start.

Now, let’s talk about my health. Overall, I’m pretty healthy.  I haven’t had any heart episodes since December, so that in itself is a blessing. I’m feeling wonderful. I’ve got to admit, I’ve fallen off the workout wagon; however, I’ve joined the local YMCA and determined to get back on regular workout schedule.  I worked so hard on getting my heart back to where it needs to be and I will not let laziness take over.  My heart doesn’t deserve that.

Since I moved to VA I had to find a new cardiologist and for some reason this was hard for me to do. It wasn’t hard finding a cardiologist it was hard forcing myself to find one.  I kept putting it off but I finally found one and I actually have a checkup on Tuesday. This will be an 18 month checkup since the heart attack, but I’m sure it’ll involve more than just a normal checkup because it’s with a new doctor.  I’m not going to lie, I’m already nervous about it.  I remember when I was looking for a cardiologist and I had the conversation with my dad as to why I kept putting it off.  He told me that I was just scared and he was right. Seeing the cardiologist is just a reminder to me that I did have a heart attack. I know I’m a pretty tough and hard-headed woman but I do have my weakness; constant fear of that it could happen again.  Although, I’m determined to do everything in my power, may it be medication, diet, or exercise to make sure my health is as good as it can be.  I guess I need to realize a cardiologist is just another tool in making sure everything is on the right track to achieve the goal of making my heart the healthiest it can be.  I’m sure that I’ll have some anxiety on Tuesday before my appointment but I know everything will be okay. I’ll put the faith in the man upstairs and he’ll guide me through it.

I find it tough trying to write the next part of tonight’s blog. I want to share with you all story about a girl named, Liz, who has became my inspiration over the past month.  Liz is from my hometown (St. Marys, OH) and is 20 years old. Exactly one month ago, Liz underwent heart transplant surgery.  She has had many ups and downs since the surgery but continues to fight each and every day with her new heart. You can find her story at the following website: http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/elizabethsampson/journal

When I found out about Liz, I was in complete shock. I knew she had a heart condition but didn’t know she needed a transplant. I felt so much sadness and fear for her.  I know what I went through with having a heart attack and I couldn’t even wrap my mind around what she was going through. To be honest, I also had a whole lot of anger. Why in the world was a 20 year old having to go through a heart transplant surgery?  She should be out enjoying her sophomore year in college not undergoing a major surgery. 

I remember thinking, praying, and constantly checking facebook for updates the day of her surgery. Her sister, Amanda, actually created a page on the caringbridge website, which she posts updates on Liz on a regular basis.  I remember reading the post titled, “Elizabeth’s Story”, and tears constantly streamed down my face. The strength that Liz has in this journey is incredible.  Not only is she NOT questioning why this has happened to her, she believes it was part of God’s plan for her. WOW! As I’m writing this right now I cannot hold back the tears.  I’m in awe of her and the strength that she has. Having to go through such a huge event at such a young age and having that much courage is inspiring.

When I think of what I’ve been through with having a heart attack it’s nothing compared to what Liz has been through. Liz, you are such an inspiration to me more than you will ever know. Through your strength, courage, and determination, I find myself gaining the strength and courage. I cannot thank you enough for that.  Not only are you an inspiration to me but you has become my role model.  I hope one day I can have as much faith, courage, strength, and determination as you do. Keep fighting girl! 

Through you, I’ll find that courage and strength to get me through my cardiologist appointment on Tuesday.

We all know that prayer is such a powerful thing, so I ask you all to say an extra prayer tonight for Liz and her family.